steeple chase

It was the exotic name of that gorgeous apartment complex off Dayton city.

The logo in green-brown-beige colors was a pair of beautiful horses with long manes bouncing as they race side by side.

Steeple chase also comes as the main lifesaver theme from an advice columnist who was pressed for an answer to the question: what if all is lost and you found yourself in the midst of a crap tornado.

It was an insightful advice. She said when in the midst of a crap tornado look for a steeple to fix your gaze at to remind you who you are.

And I really relish this advice.

My question is: what kind of steeple can remind me who I am in the midst of a crap tornado that makes you want to remember your name for dear life?

Can I actually answer that?

At this point, I don’t even know that.

I read up on steeples and steeplechase and found out that it all started from the Irish who evidently grow a church in every few feet and so in the old days when people raced and needed some type of marker that could be seen from a distance, they picked church steeples as their most obvious markers in the race. And they walk through lakes, traverse rivers, climb over obstacles of all sorts with their gaze fixed at the church steeple until they’d arrive at their destination.

The image is inspiring. It reminded me my single-minded determination back in my early 20s.  I still have the single-minded determination only this time I no longer know what my steeple is.

It’s a loss of self. It’s so foggy around. And scary. Life is not waiting for me to decide. Life moves on. I want to move on with life.


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Starting with why… in relationships

So let me clarify what I believe when it comes to intimate relationships.

I believe the most important, fulfilling, and satisfying thing in any human interaction is clear honest communication. And by communication I mean open, with no fear of judgment, 100% conscious presence and verbal, bodily, intellectual and emotional interaction.

I also believe that people come in varying degrees of self-awareness and therefore it is not realistic to expect to have the same degree of openness in communication with everyone.

So that’s exactly what I’m looking for. It’s pure freedom and sheer joy to be in the company of someone who communicates openly with you and expects the same from you. In this type of relationship, any problems that may crop up have a way to get resolved quickly and drama-free because both people are BOTH in touch with their deeper needs and wants and thoughts and desires AND 100% open in “revealing” those to or sharing those with the other person in a simple honest humble straight-forward way.

This type of relationship, to me, is bliss. And it is the only type of relationship to which I would subscribe 100%.

I believe that open communication in the lines described above is the best basis for a beautiful friendship with anyone. I also believe that different people are compatible with each other in varying degrees of compatibility. In the end, if the differences are irreconcilable between two people, they can explore their options in the spirit of the open clear honest humble communication I described above. I believe that one could lose a lover and gain a friend.

And I believe that underneath of it all, most people are looking for exactly the same thing; to be understood and listened to and be accepted for who they are. I believe that open communication is the only way for two people to reach this point of connection with each other.

I have met quite a few people (men and women) who have grown so disappointed in relationships that they stopped seeking this type of open clear honest communication and they started focusing on the satisfaction of a single need (for company, for sex, for financial stability, etc.). I believe that people are more than the sum of their needs. Or rather, that the biggest human need of all is to be accepted and seen as the person you really are. Open clear honest heartfelt straightforward communication will satisfy this basic human need and more.






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